Date-aversary

Eight years ago tonight I met the man that would later become my husband; what a crazy ride it has been! From cross country moves and back again to brain tumors, we've seen far more than our share.

This year has been absolute shit, but there's no one else I'd have by my side to go through it together.

Here's to a better 2016 all around!

Happy Holidays

I'm not feeling particularly festive this year, but I wish everyone happy holidays and good times with family and friends.

My eyes seem to be a little better on most days. It really depends on my naps and the light condition, but I've been able to do a little reading and actually finished a book recently. Score 1 for this book nerd!

I won't have another scan until January 25th. Until then we wait, and I still get infusions every 2 weeks. Some of my hair seems to be growing back in little fuzzies but I mostly just look ridiculous. This is me giving a shit...

Fight like hell.

F&%$ This Year

It's not all badass bitch tumor warrior woman and sarcasm over here. I'm pissed. I'm sad. And just when I thought we couldn’t possibly get kicked again this year . . .

I had an appointment with my oncologist and an infusion today. It turns out that the Avastin can cause a fatigue syndrome to set in after several months, So it looks like I’ll be taking naps for the foreseeable future, since the radiation fatigue is still hanging around.

My disability company had sent some forms for my doctor to fill out, so part of my appointment was spent answering super fun questions. In my oncologist’s opinion, I will not be returning to work anytime soon. He asked if I enjoy the work I do or if there were other things that I would like to do. [Cue: Panic]

  

At this point, my eyes may not heal any more. My oncologist thought that my eyes are probably as healed as they’re going to get, but he couldn’t say for sure. I’m still outlawed from driving, which is annoying. I have a stack of books next to our bed that I just want to read, but can’t manage more than 10 pages at a time. This is a hard pill for me to swallow. As if I wasn’t panicking enough about my future ability to return to work, my future ability to read makes me panic even more. . . . I’m still holding out hope that they’ll get better.

My oncologist is quite the character. The man is brilliant, but quite the character. He’ll walk out of the room during my appointment, without saying where he’s going, leave the door open, then walk back in a few moments, and continue talking right where he left off.

A final thought — This year can fuck off.

Fight like Hell.

Unexpected ER Trip

Well, today did not go as planned. We were supposed to be doing Shop with a Cop this morning, but instead ended up with an impromptu ER visit. Hurray.

In my last post, I mentioned a botched port accessing; since they weren’t able to use my port for the MRI last Monday, they ended up putting an IV in a vein in my left wrist joint. That in itself is not pleasant. I noticed yesterday morning that my left forearm was super sore. By yesterday evening, my arm was to the point where I couldn’t touch it without pain, and it was starting to have red splotches. I realized that from the point there they put in the IV and straight up my forearm was exactly where the pain and redness were.

N. reminded me that my oncologist had told us that because I’m receiving Avastin infusions that any sign of blood clots should be an ER visit. In the world of Avastin patients, I’m at a pretty low risk of having blood clots. But … that’s not something with which you mess around. N. called our neurosurgery contact, and they said we should go to the ER just to be safe. Unlike our last ER visit, it was deserted. We got into a room right away, and they sent me up to Ultrasound almost immediately. The ultrasound hurt like a &!@#%. It showed that I did not have a blood clot, though. They diagnosed me with superficial Thrombophlebitis and lymphangitis [inflammation of superficial veins and inflammation of the lymph nodes in that area] … from that lovely wrist joint IV I got stabbed with last Monday. I've lost count of how many time I've been stabbed for an IV since November 2008 [the start of the first go round], but I've never had anything more than a small bruise from an IV.

Needless to say, the American Center Imaging Department is on my shit list, and I will never attempt to get an MRI there again — Always, always at the main UW hospital. 

I’ll be on an antibiotic regimen for the next 10 days. Between that, elevation, and warm compresses, I should kick this. In the meantime … frick, my arm hurts.

On a happier note, it seems like my hair is starting to grow back a little. Also, our foster kittens were adopted together today. We have them for the week, but once we bring them to the adoption center on Friday, they'll go to their forever home. I'm happy that the little poofs will stay together, so that they won't be lonely. I imagine that we'll be getting a couple more kittens for our next foster round. :D    

         

Fight like Hell.

Burning the Bitch to the Ground!

After starting my week with botched port accessing, almost passing out, an IV in my wrist joint, and Ryan’s wake... it sure was nice to get a good news call from my oncologist Monday evening. just as we were pulling into the funeral home parking lot, Dr. Robins called and told us that my MRI looked exactly as he had hoped it would. My scan showed no signs of recurrence or progression, which means that the radiation and Avastin infusions are working! Dr. Robins said my brain is healthier than it was on my last scan in September.

I will continue to receive immunotherapy infusions every two weeks, indefinitely. My next MRI Is scheduled for January 25^th. My eyes continue to heal, but I’m still limited in my reading. We had busy days this week, so I missed a few naps, and my eyes certainly let me know they were not pleased. I think I made up for it this afternoon with an epic actual cat nap. 

Also, I finally got the lidocaine to work today, so when I got stabbed in the chest twice to get my port accessed, I only felt it a little the second time [Small victories].

Fight like Hell.

P.S. KITTENS!!!

Farewell, Friend

This evening, we started saying goodbye to a good friend and an even better man. I’m angry, and I’m heartbroken for my husband, his coworkers, and most importantly for Ryan’s wife.

[see story from August about the green beret sniper http://krjkickstumorass.blogspot.com/2015/08/home.html]

I was relaying this story to Ryan’s wife recently, and she told me how excited he had been that I had written about what he said on my blog. She said that he had talked about it for weeks. I am honored that this had meant as much to him as it means to me.

This afternoon When we went through the visitation line, I said my goodbyes and told Ryan that I would continue being a badass for the both of us. Later, I was able to tell this story to some of the members of Ryan’s green beret team. 

Godspeed, friend.

Fight like Hell.

Neuro Ophthalmologist

The good news is that my vision is fine. The bad news is that we just have to keep waiting for my brain to heal. As we found out yesterday at the ophthalmologist, nerves for your eyes are on the surface of your brain, so if your brain is angry your eyes will be angry. I passed all of the vision tests. My eyes are just having difficulty dilating appropriately in certain light conditions. I also have eye fatigue because my brain is still in the process of healing.

That really puts a cramp in this bookworm’s reading plans. The books call to me from my night stand, “Read Me. Read Me,” but by bedtime, I’m just too tired. The ophthalmologist had me buy a pair of those cheap reading glasses to help my eyes when I do need to read screens or paper. As I'm finding though, the laptop sits just a little too far away for the glasses to be of any help. I'll have to test them with a book when I'm not too tired. When I am able to go back to work, I may need to move my monitor closer if I still need to use the reading glasses. 

As for everything else, we continue to wait until the MRI on the 30th, and I continue to rest and heal.

Fight like Hell.      

Same Old, Same Old

Nothing much has changed here. My eyes are slowly returning to normal, but I’m still having problems focusing in low light, on screens/books, and if something is back-lit.  I have a neuro ophthalmology appointment on Wednesday… But my oncologist has outlawed me from driving, indefinitely.

Boo. Hiss.

I don’t have an infusion this week, so I’m looking forward to not getting stabbed in the chest for another week. Though after the 2 cavities I had filled on Monday, I’d rather have my port accessed any day. [I'm So glad I had chemo last time, since it likely did nothing but make me vomit and destroy my enamel].

The radiation fatigue is still holding on pretty strongly. I need at least one nap every day to function. The kitties have really been enjoying the naps, since they get to cuddle on the couch with me.

N. had to shave my head again tonight. I had this crazy Friar Tuck look going on. I’d say 80% of my head is bald or balding. My sister also had to wax the sides of my face today. I’m pretty furry anyway – Germany & the Czech Republic should really give the women in my family a hair removal stipend – and then the devil steroids made my hair grow like crazy. Fun.

Fight like hell.

Last Day & TV Interview

Yesterday was my last day of radiation. Thank goodness. Ta ta, Zofran; you’ve been a life saver. I'm very thankful that I did not spend 5.5 weeks with my head in the toilet this time.

We celebrated my last day the best way I know how — with kittens!!!

Check out my interview on the local news! [Skip ahead to 12:00 min].

http://www.channel3000.com/news/newscasts/36165558

Fight like hell.

Halloween & TV

This year I’ll be dressing up as KJ with hair for Halloween.

Just kidding —I really don’t care who sees my bald head, but I thought it’d be nice to get a wig just in case I wanted to have hair at times. Otherwise, I’ll continue to rock the G.I. Jane look. Many thanks to the Friends of the UW Hospital who fund raise to provide wigs to cancer patients free of charge!

I’ll be dressed in my usual pirate costume to hand out candy. Thanks to my big ass brain surgery, I have a legit eye patch to complete my costume this year. Heh.

Yesterday, N. and I were interviewed by Channel 3 about my battle, our love of the Badgers, and to help promote the “Beat Cancer” buttons that the Carbone Cancer Center is selling to raise money for research and patient services. We’ll be on Channel 3 at 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm. The interview will also be on the Channel 3000 website. I’ll post the link when it’s up.

tOMORROW IS MY LAST DAY OF RADIATION!      

Fight like hell.

Awesome Day

Yesterday was so awesome. I won tickets to the Matt Nathanson Studio M session at the 105.5 Triple M studio. We had to jet straight from my radiation appointment to make it to the show on time. After he played, we got to meet him. I took off my hat for the picture, and he was a little surprised at my bald head. I told him that I had brain cancer and that we had just come from my radiation appointment. He hugged me three times and told me that I was a badass. He asked if we would want to come to his show yesterday night. I replied, “I would love to!” I’ve always wanted to see him in concert.

And then I took a nap ... 

When we got to The Majestic for the show, we found that Matt had gotten us hooked up with VIP seats — So, so awesome. The concert was fantastic. I’m paying for it today with exhaustion, but it was worth it!

Fight like hell.

No Hair, Don't Care!

The deed is done. No hair, don’t care!

Last time, I was so concerned about my hair. This time, I really don’t give a damn. I was so over pulling out handfuls of hair, and it had only been going on since Saturday. Off with the hair!

You can definitely tell where I have balding spots versus just shaved hair. The three surgery scars are very visible. Oh well, the hair will grow back in a few months.

My N. was very sweet and shaved his head with me. We gave the neighbors a show, shaving each other's heads in the driveway.  

12 days of crockpot radiation left!

Fight like hell.

It Has Begun

It has begun; the hair loss is upon us. It's like my hair hurts [because the follicles are irritated from the crockpot radiation]. My sister actually lint-rolled my head today to catch all the hair falling out.

I feel like the balding started sooner last time, but I could have just been more traumatized then, too. Seeing a pile of waist-length hair on the floor is a little more demoralizing than short hair. Plus, I really don't give a shit about my hair this time. No bald spots yet, but depending on my balding pattern, I may go #nohairdontcare.

Fight like hell.

Same Old Routine

Sweet Jesus, having your port accessed is no joke. I didn’t watch, but N. did and told me how long the needle was. ::shudder:: That was not pleasant. I was trying to suck it up and see if I could do it … Nope! I have Lidocaine cream now to put on before they access my port for the Avastin infusions. Yesterday, the infusion was given over 60 minutes; my infusions going forward will be over 30 minutes. That means no more bed for me; I’m hoping that I at least get a reclining chair to nap. I could hardly make it through the appointment with my oncologist because I got radiated beforehand.

My routine has been about the same every weekday – nothing new to report really. I get radiated and then I take a lot of naps … with the boy kitty. The girl kitty is not much of a snuggler, but she decided to grace me with her presence yesterday afternoon.

One thing I've noticed is that I don't seem to have a meat aversion this time like I did the first go round.

16 more treatments to go after today!

Fight like hell.

Fight Song

I mentioned this before, but when Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song” came out, I thought about how it was too bad I didn’t have anything for which to use it. [Be careful what you wish for!] I had also said to N. that I didn’t know if I could be as strong if I had to go through this whole circus again.

Well, here we are. I don’t know if I’m being as strong as I was the first time, but I’m doing it.

Today started the 3^rd week of crockpot radiation. I have 19 more treatments remaining, so that should put my last treatment on October 30^th. I have yet to vomit – yay for Zofran and a doctor that understands pharmaceuticals!

I’m just waiting for the hair to start falling out.

Fight like hell.

Zzz Zzz Zzz

I’m into my second week of crockpot radiation. We met briefly with my radiation oncologist after my appointment today. Apparently I am going to be even more exhausted this time, since this is re-treatment radiation.

Yup… I’d say so. I took a 4 hour nap today with Jinx. I fell asleep during treatment too. My life has become a series of naps.

I think I'm catching up from the lack of sleep Monday night. I got radiated at 6:45am Monday morning so that I could go to the Packers game in Lambeau on Monday night with my ladies. It was so worth it.

Treatment isn’t the most pleasant since the titanium screws that are now in my skull press into the hard plastic on which I lay for radiation. The techs have been very sweet in trying to cushion it for me, but there’s not much that they can do because they have to be able to strap my head to the table with the Jason mask. I can get myself into a position where it doesn’t hurt too much and make it through the 30 minute sessions. I still manage to fall asleep.

At least we’ve been able to control the nausea this time. [I already knew this but…] Zofran is a lovely drug. The first night I got a little nauseated, but we figured out that I need to take a full pill before bed instead of a half pill. That seems to have solved the waking up in the middle of the night feeling barfy problem. I am yet to puke this time from radiation. [::knocks on wood::] The lack of appetite is starting, though. I’m forcing myself to eat. What a change that is from the steroids, where I had to feed the steroid machine to stave off the hangry.

The hair loss should start in the next week or so. From what I understand from the techs, I’ll have a bald spot on either side of my head and then most of the top of my head will be bald too. We’ll see how it falls out, but if I end up with a skullet, I’m shaving my head. No hair, don’t care.

Fight like Hell.  

KJ Gets Cooked Low & Slow

Yesterday was my first infusion of Avastin. Besides it taking Pharmacy an hour to formulate the drug and get it to me, the infusion was cake. I had to get labs drawn to start the day; I’m glad I didn’t have to do much pleading to get her to just put in an IV and draw off that. One stick day – FTW! [It’s sad when I have to measure a good day by how many times I got stabbed.] I needed an IV because my port isn’t ready for use yet, but it will be by the next time I get an infusion. Once Pharmacy finally got the drug to me, it was smooth sailing. I was able to be in my own little bay, lay on a bed with a warm blanket, and take a nap while the Avastin was pumped in. Piece of cake!

Today I got to take off my bandages from the port placement. Hurray for a normal shower this afternoon! [And holy bruises – yeesh!]

This evening begins my radiation treatments. The last time I saw my radiation oncologist, he confirmed that cooking me low and slow won’t change the radiation nausea or fatigue. I actually have good anti-nausea meds this time, though. The Zofran is ready to go before I get radiated tonight. My appointments won’t always be in the evening, but it was the only space available since it was a quick decision to change my treatment timetable. I’m hopeful that I won’t be as sick this time. I will be the queen of naps. That’s okay, though; the boy kitty and I have our afternoon couch nap routine down.

Let’s burn the Bitch to the ground! Fight like Hell.

[I'm terrible at selfies]

Port Day

"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." 

- Proverbs 31:25 -

A good friend of mine posted this verse on Facebook for me. I think this is my new mantra.

Today, I got a port installed in my chest. Since I’m such a hard stick (again thanks, gadolinium] and since I’ll be getting infusions of Avastin every 2 weeks, my oncologist wanted to put in a port. I was more nervous for this procedure than I was for the big ass brain surgery. Thankfully, I remember almost nothing. Yay sleepy drugs and FentanyL! I started waking up toward the end when they were gluing my skin together, but that’s about it. The worst part of the procedure was getting the IV. I know better, but I didn’t want to be a giant BiA to the nurse. I shouldn’t have even let her stick me; we ended up paging the IV team.

There’s been a change of plans. I will be getting my first infusion of Avastin on Wednesday, and I will be starting radiation on Thursday. My oncologist just learned today that there’s been a change to the Avastin procedures, so we can actually start earlier than the 30^th. We want to begin treatment as soon as possible based on the bitch tumor’s proximity to my brain stem. I’m just ready to get this show on the road and burn the bitch to the ground.

Fight like hell.

Badgers Game Day

I am helping UW Carbone Cancer Center promote “Beat Cancer” buttons. They are being sold at the Badger Bash before football games and also online at uwhealth.org/beatcancer. Proceeds will go to Cancer research and patient services.

Fight like hell.

Battle Plan - Phase 2: Burn the Bitch to the Ground [Revisited]

On Wednesday, we found out that the bitch tumor was not methylated, so chemo would not work for me. Today, I had an MRI and met with my oncologist and radiation oncologist. The bitch has shown signs of regrowth – not to the same size as before, though. Oh, and she’s trying to spread to another part of my brain again. Bitch. [My radiation oncologist has assured me that radiation will stop her meddling.]

I have a CT scheduled for tomorrow to make a map for radiation. I finally get to have imaging done without getting injected with contrast! I will have my super sweet Jason mask made tomorrow, too. I start radiation on the 30^th for 5.5 weeks (M-F with weekends off].

I will also be receiving a drug called Avastin, in conjunction with my radiation treatments. Avastin is given intravenously and inhibits the bitch tumor from growing by blocking her ability to find new blood vessels. I will receive infusions every two weeks. Because of the frequency of my infusions and my crappy veins [thanks, gadolinium], I will be having a port placed on Monday. My doctors are both very positive about my prognosis; I’m an ideal candidate for success on this treatment protocol.

On a more fun note, I’m going to be helping the Carbone Cancer Center and UW Hospital promote “Beat Cancer” buttons [with proceeds going to research and patient services]. The website isn’t live yet, but I will post the link when it is ready. Buttons will also be sold at football games. N. and I will be sporting the buttons at Saturday’s game against Troy.

Fight like hell. 

One Month

Today marks one month since the Big Ass Brain Surgery. It has been such a whirlwind, and it doesn’t seem like that much time has passed. My eyes have steadily improved since surgery, but they aren’t back to normal yet. My depth perception is still off, and I’m still restricted from driving.  

I have an MRI on Thursday to make a map for radiation. I also have appointments with my oncologist and radiation oncologist that day. We should find out if I’m going to be doing chemo along with radiation on Thursday, too. I believe that I will start radiation next Monday; i will be radiated Monday through Friday with Saturday and Sunday off [same as last time].

Fight like hell.

First Home Game

The first Badgers home game was Saturday, which means my game day bibs finally made their true debut. Our new season ticket seats are awesome, and the Badgers steam rolled the other team [as they should have].

There’s another home game on Saturday, and I’m ready to jump around again!

Fight like hell.

Badgers and the Best Time of the Year

I have been waiting far too long for this day — Badger Game Day!

In a normal world, N. and I would be in Texas right now, getting ready to watch the badgers take on Alabama. It’s a good thing that we decided not to go, given the situation. We’ll just have to go to Lambeau next year for the LSU game. We have a score to settle from Houston last year — Tiger bait, my ass.  

I’ll be cheering extra loudly from our couch tonight, wearing full game day garb. Also, I have all of my phalanges crossed that sunshine has gotten over his case of the yips this year. C'mon, we need a quarterback ... 

Tonight’s game means that it’s only one week until the first home game. There’s a certain magic surrounding Camp Randall on Game Day. I get goosebumps every time the badgers run out of the tunnel to “Where the Streets Have No Name” [and I really dislike U2]. I’m extra pumped for this season, as well, since our season tickets were upgraded to row 18. It’s going to be a fantastic year.

Thankfully, I get weekends off from radiation, so I should be able to stay awake for the games ;) It’s a bummer that I’ll be getting radiated for a large part of my favorite time of the year, but at least I’ll have things that I love to distract me [and my oncologist promised to medicate correctly so that I won't be so miserable this go 'round]. 

Come to me, button up flannels and crisp weather [where I'm not such a sweaty kid]. Put all of the apple things in and around my mouth. pumpkin things — get in mah bellay. And if you ruin the pumpkin things with chocolate, I.will.cut.you. 

Ahhh, Fall. You complete me. 


Beat 'Bama. Go Badgers!

Fight like hell.

Slide Show

Since Facebook thinks I’m infringing on copyright laws, I will try to post this here. Nate’s cousin made this for us – so awesome!

Fight like hell.

Battle Plan - Phase 2: Burn the Bitch to the Ground

I had 30 sutures removed from my skull by my neurosurgeon’s NP to start our super fun day at UW Hospital and Carbone Cancer Center today. It feels so much better to have the sutures out; they were pretty tight at the bottom and starting to pull. Also, I’m glad that I took an oxy beforehand, otherwise that would’ve been a bit much to sit through. As it was, I was feeling no pain. ;)

We found out last week that the bitch tumor was a cancerous grade 4 tumor. Today, we found out that the bitch tumor was also a glioblastoma. Another question we got answered today was – yes, I do still have cancer. And I will wear that scarlet C like a badge of honor. Though my neurosurgeon was able to remove 100% of the tissue that was picking up the dye on my MRI, the cancer cells still exist in my brain.

Onto Battle Plan: Phase 2…

In two weeks, I will have an MRI to make a map for my radiation treatments. I will be doing 27 treatments of a special kind of radiation that one of the UW doctors created. Of course, UW has THE guy. . The radiation treatment I had 6 years ago was given in higher frequency/shorter length doses. This radiation treatment will be lower frequency given over a 30 minute time frame. Our cells naturally repair themselves when exposed to radiation in the world; this lower/longer dose allows normal brain tissue to repair itself as it would naturally when exposed to radiation. I’m not sure if this will have any effect on how I will feel after radiation treatments, but it will be better for my body.

One of the pathology tests wasn’t back yet today, so we don’t know if I will be doing pill form chemo along with the radiation or not yet. If the bitch tumor pathology comes back as methylated, then I will also be doing the same chemo that I did last time. My oncologist thought that the test should be back within the week. The UW Carbone Cancer Center will be my new home for the next several weeks

We don’t know and won’t know why or when the bitch tumor started growing again. We only know that it transformed from the site of the original tumor.

We have an uphill battle for sure, but it is one that I refuse to lose.

Fight like hell.              

       

D-Day

It's D-Day! We're UW Hospital and Carbone Cancer Center bound for most of the day. I'm very much looking forward to having Battle Plan Phase 2 - Burn the Bitch to the Ground. 

Fight like hell.

Tomorrow is D-Day

D-day is almost here. Tomorrow I have my post surgical appointment with Dr. Baskaya and his NP, then an appointment with my oncologist to get final pathology and treatment plan, and then another appointment with the radiation oncologist. Basically, we're spending the day at UW Hospital and Carbone Cancer Center.

Tomorrow is the day we finally get some answers. You better believe the cruise director of this bitch tumor has a sheet of graph paper full of questions on her clipboard.

I fear sleep tonight will be elusive. I'm anxious to get answers, but not scared about the answers. We already know that it is/was cancer. Of what else is there to be scared?

My type A personality is just ready to know the next phase of the battle plan. I'm ready to burn this bitch to the ground.

Fight like hell.

Neuro/Speech Rehab

Cleared! Barring any changes, I should not have to go to any other neuro/speech rehab appointments.

Now, c'mon eyeballs!

Fight like hell.

One Month

One month ago, N. and I celebrated our very first wedding anniversary. We spent the day on the couch, eating Pizza Pit, and watching the Lego movie [as I had started to show signs of a swollen brain].

While it was not as we hoped four our first anniversary, there's still no one else I'd have by my side.

We had no idea that the following day I would be admitted to the hospital or that 2 days later I would have somewhat emergency brain surgery.

We had the "in sickness and in health" part of our vows covered during our first year of dating. We're being tested again, but I know right where we'll be. #KandNAlways

He's the love of my life, my rock, my tall drink of water ;) ... my husband. I made the best decision of my life that very hot day that we said "I Do."

And I would do it again. Every day. Forever.

[all photos copyright Simple Soul Photographs 2015]

The Naughty C Word

The naughty c word... CANCER...

Part of me had accepted that the bitch tumor was likely cancer, based on how quickly she had grown back, but it was something that I had never really wanted to completely admit - not to myself, not to my N., not to our families, and not to the rest of the world. I think I knew, but that I didn't want to say it outloud. I would always correct people when they said that I had had cancer the first time ... because I didn't, we caught it before it turned into cancer.

My oncologist  [and all of us] suspected that it was a grade 4 cancerous tumor this time. She grew back so fast and hard that I had to have somewhat emergency brain surgery to relieve pressure. [See ETV surgery post] Dr. Baskaya's NP confirmed initial bitchtumor grading yesterday as a grade 4.

It is ironic to me that I had [have?] brain cancer, but the bitch tumor was dead and removed before we ever even knew that I had it. This just further vindicates our decision to do the #bigassbrainsurgery. Now, we just need to beat that bitch back into the hole whence she came so that she can never come back out.

I woke up this morning so rested and ready to fight. I have down shifted into a whole new warrior woman mode.

Onto Battle Plan - Phase 2 (Burn the Bitch to the Ground) ...

Fight like hell.

[@crumblyz is an amazing human!]

Warrior Woman

I'm feeling very feisty this morning - ready to battle. I slept like a rock. I feel energized.

Fight like hell.

Thank You

This will be the first of several "thank you" posts over the next few months.  N. and I are just amazed and so thankful that we have such caring family and friends. It is such a flood of love. I thought I was humbled after my benefit during the first round ... and this is even more...

I don't think that I will ever find the words to appropriately thank everyone for the prayers, well wishes, meals, support, etc. - especially for the support for my N. and our families while I was in surgery for 8 hours plus recovery.

For those of you that knew me before college, I defined myself as a writer. I was originally an international journalism major. [Luckily, I realized that I didn't want to be shot and that my career talents laid elsewhere.] So, for me not to be able to accurately express myself through the written word, it is frustrating. Believe me when I say thank you from the bottom of our hearts and that we would be there for you too. [though I hope you never have to endure anything of this caliber.]

Thank you. Merci. Gracias. Grazie.

Much love.

Fight like hell.

Packers

Well, Green Bay Packers, that wasn't so great, but I still love you 💛💚 - ‪#‎KJMeetARodg‬

Home

Good morning, everyone!

My first day back home went well, and I actually was able to sleep for 8 hours, which is impressive since I'm on a higher dose of the steroids again. I'm tapering off the devil drugs at least. 

It still feels a little surreal that this is all happening again - also that I just had an 8 hour brain surgery, I'm the same KJ, and am already home. My neurosurgeon was so impressed with how well I was doing (and how much of the bitch tumor he was able to safely remove), that he moved me to neuro general care after 2 nights in the neuro ICU, and discharged me after 1 night in neuro general care. I was supposed to be in the hospital minimally 5 days. Apparently I'm a champ, heh. 

I have to say that I got quite the compliment yesterday. A friend of ours is an ex-Green Beret sniper 1 (sniper instructor). He told me that I was a badass and that he'd take me into battle any day for how brave I've been, which is quite the compliment coming from him. He's done the stuff that they make movies about.

Ever the craft nerd, I had my mom bring a card that I had previously made so that I could give it to my neurosurgeon. Things I never thought I'd write in a card: "Thank you for saving my life."

 

This is what 8 hours of deep brain surgery looks like - 30 sutures, a titanium plate, and titanium screws.

Fight like hell.

Ding Dong the Bitch Is Dead

THE BITCH TUMOR IS DEAD!!! Dr. Baskaya was able to remove ALL the pieces that were lighting up with the gadolinium on my MRI. The remaining "shadowy " pieces will be likely evicted through treatment.

All together, the surgery was about 8 hours plus 10 hours pre- and post-op. It was a very long day for N., our families,  and friends.

I got my surgical dressing off my head this morning and the one staple out. I have about 30 sutures along the back of my head. I'm totulally the bride of Frankenstein now.  I might actually be bionic now heh. Dr. Baskaya reattached my skull with a titanium plate and titanium screws, along with the bone.

I've been cleared from the NeuroICU and moved to the Neuro general floor, which means that I'm recovering well.

It's looking like I may be discharged in the next 2 or 3 days.

My neurosurgeon is a freaking genius.

Fight like hell.

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I'm Still Me

In case you were wondering, I'm still me! - Same 'ol badass KJ.

We could not have had a better surgeon. He's the shit. Seriously. One of the best in the world.

I am so thankful for him. I'm totally making him a card. Hehe :) I'm going to craft nerd this up.

Dr.  Baskaya was able to remove ALL of the areas of the tumors that are absorbing the radioactive dye during my MRIs. The active, agressive parts of the tumor are the pieces that absorb the dye during my MRIs.

All in all, I'm feeling really awesome.

Fight like hell.